How to Survive in a Horror Movie

horror-films

To be the last one standing, that is all one can ask when the psycho killer, huge monster, or undead baddie is lurking. As learned in Scream there are rules for getting out of the horror movie alive but as I watched a weekend of slasher and monster flicks to get ready for Halloween, there are too many movies where deaths could be avoids if people would follow the rules!

By following the rules from some of the greatest horror movies ever filmed, you could be the sole survivor!

scene-from-the-ring

The Double Tap – Think zombie, serial killer, or ax murderer you just shot is dead and gone and not just down for the count? Always shoot twice and ask questions later. In every movie ever made the bad guy gets right back up when you stop paying attention!

Zombie? Go for the Head – Destroying the brain is the only way to kill zombies. Haven’t you watched 28 Days Later or Dawn of The Dead? Fire just makes zombies on fire, cut off a limb and they will keep dragging themselves along. You can not run, hide, or distract these unthinking death machines with the only impulse to eat your flesh.

Nothing truly kills vampires other than destroying the heart. – Modern vamps from the Cullens to those brothers on The Vampire Diaries can’t be killed by garlic, silver, or sunlight which makes them even more deadly. A sharp stake to the heart is the perfect kill.

Never have sex. – Every Friday the 13th and Nightmare on Elm Street knows that getting a little booty is the kiss of death. Anyone that hooks up and then hears a noise and goes to investigate gets it. Normally the killer goes for the explorer first though instead of running when Johnny gets an axe through his face the girlfriend screams and waits for the killer to come slice and dice. If you do have sex, never leave each others side; although that didn’t help one couple that Jason Voorhe is speared through both bodies.

Never take a shower. – Jamie Leigh Curtis taught us that showers are bad in movies. It doesn’t get much better decades later and showers are still the creepiest place to be alone, especially at night.

Never leave the children in the other room. – The second you leave the children in another room the phone will ring that the killer is inside the house or a noise in the next room will put you under attack.

Never say “I’ll be right back.” – Best put in Scream you won’t be back. Don’t even try it.

Never be the only minority in a group of college students. – We know the rules, it is always the one minority in the group that dies first.

If you hear a noise in the attic don’t go look. – Do the normal thing and go outside and call the police!

  • Don’t sleep with the TV on especially after watching a scary movie.
  • Never set down the car keys, out down the phone, or lay down your weapon.
  • Never look in the back seat of a car.
  • Never say “I think it’s all over now.”
  • Never think you are safe and sit down somewhere to rest.
  • Never go to camp where people have died previously.
  • Never stay in a cabin for the weekend.
  • Never have your back to a door way.
  • Never ignore obvious warning signs!
  • Urban legends are real.
  • Don’t ignore someone that has a pre-cognitive vision, dream, warning from a ghost, or deja vu.
  • Don’t buy the murder house.
  • Trust the older neighbors when they tell you sixty years ago the same thing happened to the last people that lived there.
Categories: Horror Films
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